Wednesday 5 December 2012

Inferno by Charlene Wilson


She could feel the warmth on her back.  Confused she sat up and turned round. Her arm shielded her eyes as she looked into the distance. Reds, yellows and oranges fused together producing what seemed to be a burning inferno.  She looked on perplexed as her eyes beheld the unusual sight.  Nothing was burning.  This “inferno” seemed to be airborne.  There was no black smoke or any of the usual things that accompany a fire.  There was no smell and as she looked out of the window, no one seemed to be concerned by it at all.  Maybe it was an asteroid, the beginning of Armageddon, she thought.  However it stood there still.  She watched it for a few moments and not once did it move.

Unsure as to what it was, she got up and went outside.  She moved towards it, trying to get a closer look but it was far too bright and her arm was no longer sufficient as a shield. She took a step backwards but it was too alluring.  It was menacing yet beautiful and her curiosity was something that she could not ignore. Her fingers struggled to unbutton her shirt, fear and excitement making them slippery with sweat.  Taking it off, she hung it over her head.  The difference was slight but she walked on.  She crept slowly with apprehension as the heat intensified.  Fear and excitement were no longer the cause of the sweat that now dripped from her body. 

It was so bright that her eyes were practically closed, yet she still edged forward.  It was more orange than red or yellow and it gave off a dull humming noise, she felt the vibrations in her core.  She let go of the shirt, which hurtled towards the “inferno” and disappeared within its walls.  Looking down she saw that her feet were no longer on the ground.  Fearful she tried to turn around but couldn’t.  Realising that this “inferno” was pulling her body towards it, she opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out.  Panic set her heart racing. With all her might she tried to stop herself but it was too late.  The force was drawing her in. 
She sat upright, gasping for breath, her clothes clinging to her clammy skin.  Her chest pounded by her heart, made her body jolt rhythmically as she tried to calm herself, confused by her surroundings.   The inferno was nowhere to be seen.  She was not outside and soon realised that her body had not ventured from her bed. It was her mind that had wandered. 

She got out of bed, walking over her shirt that lay on the floor.  In the darkened kitchen she filled the glass with cold water and gulped it down, replenishing her body.  The sound of the glass being placed on the worktop echoed in the silence of the early morning.  She stood there in darkness, her body slouching over the sink.

“Zoe, what you doin’ standin’ in t’darkness?”

With one sentence the silence had disappeared. Zoe swung round with such a fright that her arm knocked the glass to the ground, which crashed into the tiled floor, shattering upon contact, the fragments spreading themselves across the surface.  The room was filled with light and Ade stood there half asleep, looking at her as she held and stomach, unable to speak, her breathing erratic.

“You idiot! You scared the living daylights out of me!”  Zoe said still struggling to stand upright, her hand still holding her stomach.  Ade carefully tiptoed around the broken glass, pulled out a chair and Zoe shot him a thankful look before sitting down. Ade sat opposite her, his voice softened by concern.

“Zoe, why are you up, I mean it’s 3am.”
“Er, you are up as well”, she said her eyes darting from the floor to his eyes and back to the floor.
“I am only up ‘cause I thought I heard screamin’.  Then I hear you comin’ down t’stairs and I thought summat was up.”
“You must have been dreaming,” she said shifting uneasily in her chair. “I just came down for a glass of water.”
In an effort to show his concern he placed his hand on her back but quickly removed it.
“Yer clothes are soakin’ wet!  Its like you’ve been for a run in t’desert!”
“Well, I was hot,” she replied agitated at the interrogation she was receiving.  “That’s why I came down for a glass of water.”
“I don’t believe yer.  Summat’s up, I know it is, why won’t yer tell me?”  His eyes were sincere and she wanted to tell him, she yearned to let it all out but she was scared to say it out aloud.
“I…”.
“Go on…” he said drawing closer to her.
Zoe thought about lying, but the idea of trying to convince Ade that she was fine seemed much too exhausting.
“I’ve been having these dreams.”
“Dreams?” Zoe nodded in response, tears stinging her eyes.
“Well what ‘appens in these dreams?”
Zoe takes a deep breath before explaining it all to him.
“Ade it feels so real, to the point where I struggle to know whether or not I am actually dreaming.  It feels as though I am there.  I mean look at me!  I am soaking wet, I have never felt so dehydrated in my life.  As soon as I close my eyes I am back there.”  Ade watches her hold her head in her hands and puts his arm around her.  He is unsure of what to say. Her lip trembles at his sincerity
“How long has this been ‘appenin Zo?”
“About a month.” She can see the shock in his face.  He looked at her in despair, feeling somehow responsible for the quivering heap sat beside him.  He opens his mouth to say something, but thinks better of it.  Zoe notices and looks at him quizzically.
“What?”
Ade looks at the broken glass on the floor as though it will give him the right words that he is looking for.  Looking at Zoe’s face he realises that there aren’t any.
“Do you think that you’re ‘aving these dreams ‘cause of what ‘appened?”  The sentence dropped like a weight into the atmosphere.  As soon as he said it he knew he shouldn’t have. Zoe now stood with her back to him holding the sink.
 “What on earth could it have to do with that?”
“I don’t know!” Ade says standing up, angry even though he knows that he shouldn’t be. “But I know you’ve not been the same since.”
Zoe turned round her face filled with rage, the vein in her neck throbbing. 
“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” She hops over the broken glass and runs up the stairs as she hears Ade shout something up at her.  She shuts the door behind her and collapses in a heap on the floor.  She wants to cry but the tears won’t fall.  She wants to close her eyes but she is afraid of falling asleep and so she just sits there staring at the wall.

Ade hits himself on the forehead, annoyed at the way he handled things.  He takes up the dustpan and brush and starts to sweep the glass from off of the floor.

Zoe opens the door to her room and can hear the sound of the glass being swept away.  She feels angry about how she reacted with Ade, after all he was only trying to help.  She knew he was right.  It had everything to do with what happened.

Zoe tiptoes along the corridor, avoiding the loose floorboard and enters Liam’s room.  Slowly she closes the door behind her and stays there facing the door for a moment afraid to turn around.  When she finally does, she is surprised to see that everything is as it was, as though nothing had changed, as though Liam had not died.  She trips over his cup which lived on his floor on the way to the bed.  She smiles nostalgically, as she lays down on his bed.

Zoe could still smell his scent and it was soothing to her.   She became lost in her thoughts as the door opened.

“Would you quit creeping up on me!”  Zoe sat upright in the bed.  Ade walked in and lay down beside her.
“I’m sorry.  I just came to check if you were alright.  I’m sorry for what I said.  I didn’t mean to upset you.”  Zoe turned her head to face him.
“Don’t apologise.  It’s just I know that you are right.  Liam’s death did affect me because I could have stopped it.”
Ade sat up.  His muscles began tensed with agitation but he was determined not to get angry again.
“Zo, for the last time it was not your fault.  So what if you had a dream about Liam and a car.  Does that mean you could have prevented him from getting run over?”
Tears start to roll down Zoe’s cheeks. “I could have told him.  I could have stopped him from going out.”
Ade now standing replied, “Zoe, there was nothing you could have done.  It was just a dream.  That’s all.”  Zoe shook her head, whilst coming up on her knees.
“No it wasn’t, and this isn’t either.”
Ade could not help it.  The laughter came from deep down within.  He held onto the bed for support as it overpowered his body.
“So what, you’re gonna die now in some burning inferno? Gimme a break.”
Zoe jumped up and ran out of the room.  Ade shouted after her but there was nothing he could say to make up for the mockery he made of her.  She threw her self onto her bed and cried into her pillow.  She knew the dream meant something.  She knew. 

The sun had finally come up and she got ready for work.  Her nose was blocked and her eyes were red and puffy.  She tried her best with make up to hide it with little success.  She could hear the clatter of pots. Ade was in the kitchen.  She sighed, he was the last person that she wanted to see.  She crept down the stairs.

Ade put some milk in the pot and it was boiling on the stove.  He heard Zoe on the stairs and quickly turned off the fire from under the milk.

“Zoe.”  He ran towards the door but it was too late she had gone.  He felt awful about laughing at her last night.  She was in such a fragile state but the idea that she was having premonitions seemed so ridiculous to him.  As he sat mechanically putting each spoon of cereal into his mouth he thought of ways in which he could make it up to her. 

At work Ade could not concentrate.  He had sent Zoe text messages and on the hour he would check his phone.  There was no reply.  After work he went to the local florist.  Zoe loved white lilies and so he bought the most expensive bunch he could find.  He had a low feeling within him.  Somehow he sensed that these lilies would not make up for what happened last night. 

As Ade turned the corner onto his street he stopped.  The lilies dropped from his hand.  His legs picked up pace.  He could not believe his eyes.  There were a crowd of people gathering round and the yellow flames lit up the sky.  It burned with fury and the people stood murmuring amongst themselves.

“Whats happened?”
“They say someone left the gas on.  There’s someone inside.”  He heard these conversations as he pushed his way through the crowds of people.  The road had been cordoned off and he stood at the front.  A policeman walked by and he grabbed his arm.

“Excuse me, could you please tell me what’s going on?  I live there!”
“Fire started.  We think someone left the gas on, we will know more later.”  As he said that Ade thought back to when he was boiling the milk in the morning.  Did he turn the knob all the way?  His eyes widened with horror and the tears choked him as he struggled to think. Ade opened his mouth to ask another question and saw them carry out a body.  The policeman held him back.
“I think it’s me housemate, get the hell off me!  Zo, Zo!”  He wriggled in the arms of the policeman.
“She’s gone mate.  There is no way she could have survived it.”  His body went limp in the poiliceman’s arms as he sobbed uncontrollably like a distressed child.  Through his tear filled eyes, he could still see the flames of the inferno burning.

Tuesday 17 January 2012

Second Skin - by Shelly Berry

DC Walker absently took a sip of his coffee as he watched the CCTV monitor. The woman was sat in the interview room, her coat pulled tightly around her. Blood matted the expensive looking fur in dark clumps, precious DNA evidence that had yet to be collected. He had already tried on several occasions but no-one in his team had been able to persuade the woman to give it up. More physical attempts of retrieving it had led to such a frenzied outburst that his sergeant had ordered them to leave it. She was clearly unhinged. Walker looked at the pixilated face gazing back at him as he took another awkward gulp of coffee. He’d dealt with many a homicide before, and interviewed many a murderer. But not like this one.
He opened the door to the interview room slowly and paused in the doorway. The woman didn’t move. Her wide eyes remained fixed on the mirrored wall directly ahead of her. Dark makeup was smudged under her eyes, lipstick stained the skin around her mouth. Her knees were at her chest, her feet tucked onto the standard issue plastic chair. Her bare ankles betrayed her physical delicacy. How she could be responsible for what Walker had seen was... well, it didn’t add up.
The woman tightened the grip on her coat as Walker shut the door behind him. Slowly she turned her gaze towards him as he sat across the table from her. With difficulty his eyes met hers.
“Look Miss, I think we are going to be here for a while. Can’t you at least give me your first name?”
The woman’s eyes bored into his. Walker sighed and sat back in his chair.
“Okay then. Well I’m going to give you a name for now, just to try and make things feel a bit more... comfortable. What about Sally? Will that do?”
The woman didn’t move. Walker nodded to himself and looked around the room.
“Well Sally, I’ve got a doctor coming over to give you a psychological assessment. I have to say, I’m quite worried about you, and...”
“I don’t need a doctor.”
Walker looked at her. He had barely caught the words, she had spoken so quietly. He nodded.
“Fair enough, but I think we should have you assessed, all the same. Then I’m hoping we can start working together to get us both out of here as soon as possible.”
Sally held his gaze.
“I won’t be going anywhere.”
“Well, I’m afraid you will be, Sally. Whether it is home or down to Holloway is really up to you.”
“I don’t think it is.”
Sally’s gaze slid back to the mirror. Walker looked down at the table.
“Okay then, Sally. But sooner or later you are going to have to co-operate. Nobody wants to hurt you, but we need to establish what happened last night. And you are withholding evidence. It won’t do you any favours in the long run.”
Sally’s gaze didn’t flicker. Taking a deep breath, Walker pushed himself out of his chair and walked to the door.
I just had to have it. As soon as I laid eyes on it I knew it had to be mine. Even without touching it, I knew the fur would be a soft as silk. Putting it on felt like coming home, the heaviness of the coat warming me like a hug from long lost friend.
“I’m sorry dear, but that one isn’t for sale.” The shop assistant had smiled at me but the thinness of her aged lips betrayed her resolve. I soon cracked that. Whether it was down to my Irish charm or the offer of £500 cash that did it, I don’t know. My persuasive nature has done me well in the past, and landed me quite a handsome divorce settlement. A beautiful piece of vintage fur was just what I needed to complete my transition from down-beaten housewife to sophisticated, self-sufficient woman.
Back in my one bedroom flat overlooking the park, I eyed my purchase as I half-heartedly emptied another box. Hanging on the back of my bedroom door, it hovered in the periphery of my vision as I attempted to sort through the meaningless stuff. With a sigh, I straightened up from my labours and ineffectively massaged my lower back. My eyes fell onto the coat once more. It looked so alluring, so delicious. I shivered, suddenly cold. Outside the sun was setting. The room was getting dark, the haphazard collection of bedroom furniture I had been collecting over the last five weeks falling into shadow.
It seemed harmless enough, putting it on. Silly, even. Okay, so I was only hanging around at home, trying to put my new life in order, and it certainly looked out of place teamed with my old Levi’s, vest and flip flops. But I just couldn’t resist it. As I wrapped it around my goose-bumped arms, a wave of warmth spread from my belly through to the tips of my body. I lifted the collar to my cheek and smiled as the smooth surface caressed my skin.
It’s hard to describe how I felt. At first I tried to continue with the task in hand, but my hands became restless, the chore of putting away my shoes in an orderly fashion irritating them with its banality. Humming to myself, I threw them into the bottom of my wardrobe and flipped the door closed. It suddenly struck me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to anymore. I was a free agent, and I’d had enough of tidying up, keeping up appearances and doing what I was supposed to do all of the time.
I padded out into the tiny hallway and through to the open-plan living room. Still humming, I opened the fridge. The bottle of white I had remembered as being almost full was decidedly empty. Shrugging, I turned to the cupboards I had stuffed with an eclectic selection of food, pushing tins of plum tomatoes and chick peas aside. The forgotten bottle of Shiraz I was hoping to find wasn’t there. With a cheerful tsk, I meandered back to my bedroom and pulled my make-up bag out of a holdall. If a good time wasn’t going to come to me, I was going to have to find it.
Dr Yates gently closed the door behind her. She smiled faintly at the rookie who had been waiting outside and nodded politely when he enquired if she was done. Without looking back, she walked briskly to the exit and waited.
“So doc, is she barking or just your run-of the mill cold blooded killer?”
Dr Yates kept her smile firmly in place and walked out of the custody suite without a reply. Flashing her visitor’s pass, she jogged up the stairs to DC Walker’s office. Taking a deep breath, she raised her hand to knock. The door swung open before her hand made contact with the wood. She stepped back quickly as the detective flew out. Stopping abruptly, he looked at her with surprise.
“Ah, doctor. Sorry, didn’t see you there. Was I just popping out.”
Yates looked down at the crumpled packet of Marlboros in his hand and raised an eyebrow.
“So I see. Well, why don’t I come with you and fill you in whilst you get your nicotine fix?”
“I would value your company.” He said with a wink, and turned to stride towards the fire exit.
Outside the night’s chill lingered in the air. Yates looked at her watch. 7.57. She shivered and wrapped her jacket tight around her. Walker clicked a flame from his lighter and pulled deeply at his cigarette. As he inhaled, he watched the doctor as she absently rubbed warmth into her arms.
“So, Yates, how did you get on with our little friend?”
Yates looked at him sharply before turning her attention to the grim rooftop skyline below them.
“Well, our “little friend” is quite clearly in a state of shock. And absolutely terrified. She doesn’t seem to have a clue why she is here.” She looked Walker in the eye. “And she doesn’t trust you.”
Walker laughed through a plume of acrid smoke.
“Well, I guess the feeling is mutual. I don’t trust women who walk around London in the early hours covered in blood with a knife in their hands.”
The doctor looked at him as he took another drag of his cigarette, shaking his head to himself.
“So you really think she did it?”
Walker raised his eyebrows. “Well, the evidence would suggest so. The knife won’t come back from forensics for a while yet, but she was seen by half a dozen police officers with it in her hand. Her prints will be all over it. And the blood... well, if it doesn’t match with that of the victim then I’ll...” He dropped his cigarette onto the metal step and crushed it under his shoe. “I’ll quit smoking.”
“Well, I commend you for that. And I don’t dispute the fact that it is probably his blood. I just don’t think she did it.”
Pushing open the door, Walker looked at her, his face suddenly stern.
“Please don’t tell me you believe her sob story.”
He gestured the doctor through the door. Yates obliged, being careful not to make physical contact with the policeman.
“Please don’t insult my intelligence Walker. What I am saying is that, after my initial assessment, I find it hard to believe that she has the capability of killing anyone. Or any thing, for that matter.”
Walker closed the fire exit door behind her. He squinted against the yellow light filling the corridor.
“She has the perfect motive.”
Yates shrugged. “I know.”
Walker held her gaze for a moment. He shook his head briskly and strode past her towards his office.
“Okay then. Well, maybe you could have another chat with her and try to figure out what the hell happened last night. ‘Cause, quite honestly, I don’t have the time.”
He looked back at Yates as he pulled open his office door.
“And whilst you’re at it, if you could get that damn coat off her, that would be great.”
Warm stagnant air hit my face as the bouncer pushed open the door. The club was almost as dark as the street outside. The stage at the back of the room was illuminated, blue light giving the redundant double bass and drum kit a surreal glow. Red glass candle holders sat like beacons on the round tables scattered across the room. I felt several pairs of eyes watching me as I walked towards the bar, my shoulders back and my head held high. There was a time when I wouldn’t have dared walk into a bar on my own, certainly without the purpose of meeting a friend or my husband. But that was then.
I slid onto one of the stools and plucked a cocktail menu from between the pumps. As I skimmed through the list of bourbons, I noticed the barman stood at the end of the bar watching me. I looked up and caught his eye. He was probably no more than twenty-five, a student or wannabe musician paying his way by mixing drinks every night. He held my gaze as he walked over. His hair looked black against his pale skin. Close up he looked nearer twenty. He rested his hands on the bar and leant towards me.
“What can I get you?”
Swiftly I glanced down at my menu, not wanting to break eye contact.
“A whisky sour, please.”
His pink lips curled into a lazy smile. He turned to the row of bottles behind him. I watched his back as he worked. A fitted t-shirt showed off his angular shoulders, the low slung black jeans a slim pair of hips. My eyes slowly met his as he turned and placed the drink in front of me.
“There you go. Six-fifty.”
I pulled a note out of my clutch and handed it to him.
“Keep the change.”
He raised an eyebrow as he rang the bill through the till.
“Thanks.” He nodded at my fur as I slipped it off my shoulders. “Nice coat, by the way.”
I smiled and, instinctively, pulled it back on. I took a sip of my drink. The sharpness of the flavour made me sigh as the alcohol slowly warmed me. The barman eyed me as he polished a glass.
“Mmm, that’s good.”
“My speciality. Not seen you in here before. You a tourist?”
I took another sip before answering. “No. Just trying somewhere new. Something new.”
The barman nodded. “Cool. Well, he’s a fucking idiot.”
I felt my smile slip slightly. “What?”
He put down the glass in his hand and plucked up the next one.
“The guy who let you go. You’ve just split up with someone, right?” He looked up at me slyly. “Divorced?”
I cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow. “How very perceptive of you. So, what gave it away? My age?”
His laugh was smooth and rich.
“Not exactly. But most women who go out on their own “to try something new” as you put it, dressed up to the nines, are doing it because they have been set free. Liberated. From a man.”
I laced my fingers together and sat forward, my elbows on the bar.
“So is that how you see relationships then? As a kind of captivity?”
He looked at me again.
“Not always. But more often than not.”
“Well, I guess that’s easy to say at your age.”
“Age doesn’t always accurately depict how much you have lived though.”
I held his gaze as I drained the rest of my drink. Finished, I slammed the empty glass down on the polished wood.
“Maybe not. I’ll have another please, barman.”
He laughed again and shook his head as he cleared away my glass.
“Whatever you say. But if you are planning on carrying on drinking these at this rate, I think you can call me Josh.”
I held my hand out daintily. “Nice to meet you Josh.”
“The pleasures all mine. And you are?”
I raised an eyebrow again as he kissed the back of my hand.
“I think you know too much about me already without knowing my name as well, don’t you?”
Yates looked up from her notes. The woman was staring at her with emotionless eyes. The doctor averted hers back to the table, immediately berating herself for betraying her unease. She frowned at the piece of paper lying in front of her.
“I understand the police have decided to call you Sally.” She glanced up. The woman stared back.
“I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable doing that. Your name is an integral part of your identity, don’t you think?”
The woman’s eyes flickered.
“I’m not sure I know who I am anymore, doctor.” She said softly.
Yates rested her arms on the table in front of her.
“That must be frightening. What do you think makes you feel like that?”
The woman shrugged limply.
“The police said that... that I did things. I had a knife. And the blood...” Her voice rose as she glanced down at her coat. She looked at Yates, her eyes suddenly wild.
“I’m scared of who I might be.”
Yates nodded.
“I understand. I’d like to help you figure out what happened last night so that you feel less scared. But I’d feel much more comfortable doing that if I could call you by your name.”
The woman studied the doctor’s face closely. With effort Yates met her gaze. Eventually the woman spoke.
“Okay. But I want to know your name too. Your first name, I mean.”
Yates hoped her smile was reassuring. “Of course. It’s Emma.”
“Emma.” The woman repeated the name quietly. She looked at her hands. “That’s a nice name.”
Emma smiled again. “Thank you. So, do you feel like you can tell me yours?”
“I think that I have to.” The woman bit her lip and glanced up.
“My name is Marilyn.”
Collapsing onto the back seat of the taxi, I looked up at the ceiling. My head was swimming, intoxicated with alcohol and sex. I pulled my coat around me and closed my eyes.
“Where in Angel do you want to go?”
I let my head loll forwards and smiled at the driver.
“Theberton Street. Off Upper Street.”
The driver’s cigarette-aged face creased.
“You okay? You’re not going to be sick in the back of the cab are you? Or pass out?”
I dropped my head to one side and laughed loudly. The shrillness of the sound surprised me.
“Oh, I promise. I’ve never felt better in my entire life.” I rested my head against the seat and closed my eyes once more.
“You can drive now.”
I could hear the driver’s hesitation before the locks clicked shut and the taxi shifted into gear. As he pulled off I wrapped my coat closer around me and opened my eyes. The streets were almost deserted, only the occasional clubbers and all nighters dotted the pavements as they staggered home or waited impatiently for the night bus. I caressed my fur. Its softness soothed my almost manic state. I felt high, alive again after years of only existing. And I needed to let him know how I had changed, thank him for setting me free.
As we pulled up outside the familiar townhouse, I slid a twenty pound note under the protective partition. I jumped out the taxi without collecting my change and trotted up the steps to the heavy front door. As I rang the doorbell I heard the taxi pull away. A long minute passed before I leant on the bell again.
Light streamed through the stained glass window above the door. I heard his footsteps approach from the other side and quickly smoothed my hair. The lock turned.
“Marilyn?”
He peered out from the gap the door chain allowed. His dark hair, streaked with more greys than I remembered, was mussed with sleep.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
His confusion made me giggle.
“Oh, Simon. Nothing’s wrong. I was just in the area and thought I’d drop by to say hello.”
He rubbed his face roughly and looked at me.
“Marilyn, it’s four in the morning. Not a normal time to be popping in for a cuppa.” He narrowed his eyes. “Have you taken something?”
I threw my head back and laughed again.
“No, my darling, I haven’t taken anything. I’m just happy, that’s all.” I looked him straight in the eye.
“Now, are you going to let me in or are you going to bring the coffee outside?”
Simon took a deep breath.
“Can’t we do this tomorrow? Or rather, later today?”
“No, we can’t. You owe me.”
The sudden change in my tone had the desired effect. The kitchen looked different, neater. The black marble worktop gleamed, the chrome sparkled. Not a single utensil was out of place.
“So, I see you haven’t managed to cook for yourself yet?”
Simon kept his back to me as he poured boiling water into the cafetierre. I watched him as he turned to the fridge and pulled out a pint of milk.
“And full fat milk? Really Simon, that will go straight to your paunch.”
I heard him inhale deeply as he poured.
“So, is that why you came here? To have a go?”
“Oh no, not at all. Like I said I just had a really wonderful evening and thought I’d drop by to tell you all about it.”
His gaze didn’t leave his hand as he passed over a steaming cup of coffee. I made sure my fingers touched his as I took it from him. His gaze flickered.
“And you thought that the middle of the night was a good time to have a bit of a chin wag? I hate to tell you this but most people would consider that a little strange.”
I stared hard at his face. His sandpaper cheeks burned with blood. He looked away and cleared his throat.
“Anyway Marilyn. You’re here now. What do you want to talk about? You have everything you want from the divorce settlement don’t you? Or did you just want to talk about the weather?”
I rolled my eyes up to the halogen lights above me.
“No, Simon, I don’t want to talk about the weather. I just had an amazing day and I wanted to share it with you.”
He rested on the kitchen counter behind him and tightened his dressing gown belt. The dressing gown I have bought him from Selfridges two Christmases ago. My stomach contracted cruelly.
“Well, I went shopping. I bought this beautiful coat.” I stroked the fur that covered my chest slowly. “Do you like it? It cost five hundred of your hard earned pounds.”
Simon looked at it as he took a sip of coffee.
“It’s very nice. Is that it?”
My laughter made me stagger a bit. Coffee sloshed onto the kitchen floor. Simon flinched.
“No my darling, that isn’t it! Tonight I had a wonderful night. I found a great little Blues bar, you know, the sort you wouldn’t be seen dead in. It was perfect. And the bar man was even more perfect, if you know what I mean.”
I watched his reaction from underneath my eyelashes. He stared back for a few moments before shaking his head at the floor.
“Oh God Marilyn. You came here in the middle of the night to tell me you had sex with someone else?”
My mouth curled into a smile. Before I could answer, a floorboard creaked above me. I froze as the noise moved across the ceiling, eventually pausing at the top of the stairs.
“Simon, is everything okay?”
The voice was gentle, female. Young. I looked from the ceiling to Simon. “Everything’s fine. Go back to bed, I’ll be up in a minute.” He called as he watched me with cold eyes.
The ceiling creaked again as the unseen intruder retreated to the bedroom. My bedroom. My bed. I stared back at him.
“Who’s that?”
Simon tilted his head to one side. His eyes didn’t leave mine.
“That’s none of your business. We are divorced. We haven’t lived together or slept together in over a year. I’ve moved on.”
My vision blurred, not with tears, but with anger. I gripped the worktop behind me. My breath rasped in my chest. His shape moved towards me.
“Marilyn, I think it’s time for you to leave.”
Wildly I put my hands out and pushed him away.
“You bastard.” I whispered. He came towards me again.
“Marilyn...”
“Bastard!” I screamed as I lurched forwards, knocking him to one side as I stumbled into the hallway. I heard him crash into the kitchen table as I felt my way to the front door. The building creaked around me as I fumbled with the lock and pushed myself outside. The sky was an inky blue, touched by an unseen sun. I lowered myself down the steps and onto the street and staggered towards the high street.
It was only when I reached it that I realised I was still screaming.
“You know, you really should agree to see the duty solicitor.”
Marilyn’s eyes met the doctor’s briefly before returning to the table. Yates watched her as she methodically gnawed the skin around her nails. Blood was starting to shine through thin skin. Pausing, Marilyn pulled her knees closer to her chest with her free hand.
“A solicitor can’t help me.”
Yates sighed.
“Well, you aren’t helping yourself right now. The police are convinced you’re guilty, and by refusing to give them your coat you are suggesting you have something to hide.”
Marilyn let her head hang over her chest.
“I know, but I can’t. I...”
“Why can’t you, Marilyn? It’s just a coat.”
The desperation in Marilyn’s eyes took the doctor by surprise. Her face softened.
“I’m sorry. I’m just struggling to understand.”
“I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Try me.”
The two women stared at each other across the table. Slowly, Marilyn uncurled in her chair and tepidly placed her feet on the floor. Clutching the edge of the table, she leant forwards.
“I think the coat has done something to me.”
Emma pushed aside her rational response.
“Go on.”
Marilyn took a jagged breath.
“I think, I think it has made me different, made me do things. And I’m scared of what will happen if I take it off.”
Emma nodded calmly, silently chastising herself for missing a straight forward case of psychosis. She chose her tone carefully.
“But if it makes you do things, surely taking it off will make it stop.”
Marilyn looked at her hands.
“It might. But... but it would make the other things stop too. The things I like. The feeling alive, feeling like a woman again, feeling strong...”
As she spoke, her voice became stronger and a smile touched her lips. She slid back in the chair and pulled the coat closer. She let her head hang back and looked at the ceiling. The doctor watched her in silence.
“So doctor, what do we do now?”
Emma looked down at her notepad.
“I don’t know Marilyn. What do you think we should do?”
A sharp knock at the door behind her made Yates jump. She looked around to see Walker stride in, a couple of uniformed female officers behind him. He was breathing heavily. The scent of stale coffee and tobacco tainted the air.
“Doctor, sorry to interrupt, but there has been a development.”
Yates looked back at Marilyn. She was curled once more into a tight ball on the edge of her seat. The doctor looked back at the police officers.
“Yes, what is it?”
Walker looked pointedly at the door behind him.
“Can we discuss it outside please?”
She turned back to her patient. Her eyes were wide again, her skin even paler. Yates smiled.
It’s okay Marilyn, I’ll be right back.”
As she stood up, the other woman lurched across the table and grabbed her wrist. Instantly the officers were at her side, their hands already on their asps.
“Stop!”
Yates held up her hand and looked at Marilyn. Tears were already streaking her face.
“Don’t leave me with them, Emma. Please.”
Her voice was like a child’s. Yates smiled again as she loosened Marilyn’s grip gently with her other hand.
“You’ll be fine. Just fine.”
Carefully she turned back to Walker and slowly walked out of the room. The detective followed her out and was soon striding ahead of her. Yates picked up her pace to a jog.
“What was that all about?”
Walker waited until they were out of the custody suite before turning to face her.
“I don’t know. You tell me. You’re the bloody psychiatrist.”
Yates folded her arms across her chest.
“Look, I was actually getting somewhere in there. What did you drag me out for? Or was it just a case of feeling the need to assert your authority again?”
Walker looked at her sharply.
“You haven’t got a bloody clue. I got you out of there because we found another victim.”
“What?”
Walker took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He ran his hand over his hair.
“I sent a car over to the address where that cabbie said he picked her up. No-one answered the door, but it was open. Anyway, the boys went in and...” The liness on his forehead deepened as he hesitated.
“Go on.”
“Well, they found a young man, early twenties, lying on his bed. With a broken bottle of Jack Daniels...” Walker tilted his head to one side and pointed at his exposed neck.
Yates felt the colour drain from her face.
“Oh God.”
Walker looked past the doctor and grimaced.
“Anyway, the sarg has had enough of this fannying about. Forensics are going to head over to the new crime scene once they have finished off at the ex-marital home. In the meantime we need to get some evidence from our friend here.”
He thrust his hands into his pockets. “So, Dr Yates, you are excused.”
Yates looked at him blankly.
“What do you mean? I’m making real progress. And as for your evidence, I think I can get her to give you that coat. She has some kind of delusion that the coat has some kind of control over her. Give me another hour and I can get it for you.”
Walker twisted his mouth.
“Sorry love. Like I say, we’ve had enough of the softly softly approach. With a bit of luck my girls will have got it off her already and will be sealing it up for the lab as we speak.”
A scream pierced the air behind. Yates, her mouth open to protest, felt the hairs on the back of her neck prickle. She stood motionless, the pain ringing in her ears as the policeman walked briskly away.
Oh God oh God oh God. No, please don’t do this to me. No, don’t take it, no it hurts, it’s killing me, please stop, please please, no, no, don’t.
Walker sat heavily at his desk and rubbed his eyes as he tapped his keyboard. Scanning through his emails, he selected a funny, hoping the twisted humour of one of his colleagues would help alleviate the uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach. He shook his head in an attempt to dislodge his unease. He had targets, expectations to fulfil, and way too many unsolved cases piled up on his desk. He had done what he had to do, and if that had meant pissing off a doctor and being a little bit harsh with a homicidal nutcase, well, it was out of his hands. He squeezed his eyes closed tight and blinked at the monitor in front of him. He had barely read the first line when the phone rang. Cursing, he picked up the receiver and hooked it under his chin.
“DS Walker.”
On the other end of the phone he could hear several people shouting, hurried footsteps, banging.
“Walker? It’s the custody Sergeant here. Get your fucking arse down here right now.”
Walker felt his stomach tighten.
“What’s happened?”
“Your fucking suspect, that’s what happened. I have two injured constables down here and a dead body. Get here now.”
Walker swallowed back rising bile.
“She killed again? How?”
The Sergeant laughed hollowly.
“Not quite. She managed to bite a chunk out of the back of PC Khan’s hand and had a good go at Langley’s face though. Before she carked it.”
Walker knocked a tower of paperwork to the floor as he sprang out of his chair.
“What?”
“You heard me. They finally got that coat off her and she just dropped down. I’m guessing a heart attack or something. Whatever it was, it doesn’t look good though, does it?”
“Oh Jesus.”
“Never mind him. Just get yourself down here. Now.”
It was a crazy thing to do, I know. It was just, well, I just wanted to try it on. I know I shouldn’t have, what with it being evidence and all, but it didn’t do any harm. I’ve never worn fur before. Okay, so it’s a bit of a mess, but it felt really good. I can’t wait to get it back from the cleaners. It will look great with my new dress and those heels for Alan’s birthday party next weekend.
I’ll get in real trouble if anyone figures I’ve taken it, but forensics have done their tests now and the case is pretty much closed. Okay, so Walker needs to dot a few I’s and cross a few T’s, but it’s never going to go to court. Everyone else does it. And it’s done now. There’s no point stressing about it. Might as well just enjoy it. I mean, what real harm can it do?

Saturday 10 December 2011

Retail Therapy by Charlene Wilson

This is a little short story that I wrote.....


Retail Therapy

It is amazing the amount of things you accumulate over the years.  Books bought but unread, clothes yet to be worn, appliances unused.  At the time you convince yourself that life will be so much better if you had that dress, those shoes, this blender or whatever it is that takes your fancy.  However the following week you’ll find yourself trawling the aisles of the nearest department store searching for yet another item to fill the empty void. 

What void are we trying to fill?  Well that is a question and a good one at that.  The answer, well I guess it depends on whom you ask.  Some may just enjoy the ‘buzz’ that they get from this so-called retail therapy and others may be trying to keep up with ‘the Jones’.  I have always wondered who these so called “Jones’ ” were.  Why not ‘the Smiths’ or ‘the Griffins’?  I’m sorry I’ve digressed; I tend to do that a lot.

If someone were to ask me why I need all of my wonderful purchases, the answer would be simple.  I have to have it.  I don’t know how to explain it.  There is something inside me that yearns for it and it will haunt me day and night if I didn’t get that cashmere sweater or those pearl earrings and once the purchase is made, ah the absolute bliss that I feel is unmatched by any substance or tipple that I could lay my hands on.  It’s pure and although short lived, while it lasts I am in heaven.

Unfortunately my penchant for spending has meant that I have a lot of things and I can’t take them all with me.  I am downsizing you see and the flat, it only has one bedroom so it cannot hold everything.  I will miss the high ceilings and big windows of the old house but you know change doesn’t have to be bad, you can treat it as a new beginning.  Terrence doesn’t quite share my optimism.  That might explain why he’s not coming with me.  He’s not staying in the house, we had to sell it to clear some debts, or should I say my debts. 

Terrence has decided to rent on his own, says he needs some space but I am hopeful that he will come round, especially when he knows that I am here getting actual therapy instead of the retail kind.  

My gosh, I have rabbited on haven’t I.  I tend to do this when I am nervous, I have probably given you an earache, but hopefully this answers your question as to why I am here.  Anyway my time must be up now and I’d better get going.  You see I want to pop to Debenhams, it’s the blue cross sale and I need a few things to brighten up the flat, as it’s not as picturesque as the old house.  Same time next week?


Monday 5 September 2011

Let's Start Again (ABC Tales competition entry)

Lucy stared at the potatoes laid out in front of her. They were starting to dry, dull and knobbly in comparison to the smooth granite worktop. Absently she reached for her Shiraz. She stopped abruptly as the glass reached her lips. It was empty. With a sharp sigh she turned to the worktop behind her and frowned. An empty bottle looked back at her. Lucy blinked as she tried to remember how much she had put in the jus. With a small shrug she slid a fresh bottle out of the wine rack, humming along to the aria drifting from the stereo as she did so. She glanced at the dining table as she removed the cork in one quick movement. It looked good, she had to admit. The flower arrangement was minimal and tasteful. The silverware shone like tiny mirrors, the crystal sparkled in the candlelight. Now she just had to get dinner right. The pork was steadily roasting, the smoked salmon parcels waiting patiently in the fridge. All she had left to do was sort out the sides and assemble the Pavlova.
Lucy gasped. She whirled around to the oven, nearly knocking over her replenished glass in the process. Cursing she grabbed her oven mitt and pulled open the door. Sweet smoke stung her eyes as she blindly pulled out the hot tray and dropped it onto the worktop. She slammed the oven door shut and leaned on the worktop heavily. Reluctantly she looked over at the meringue. It was ruined. She bit her lip as she picked up the tray and marched over to the bin. Her eyes prickled with hot tears as she stamped on the pedal.
“Lucy?”
Her husband’s distant voice cut through her thoughts. She listened to the front door close at the other end of the house. Hastily she wiped her eyes on her apron and flung open the fridge door, carefully counting out enough eggs for a second attempt. As she slammed the fridge closed Tom walked into the dining area, loosening his tie as he looked over her handiwork. With shaking hands Lucy carefully placed the eggs on the worktop. She looked at the digital display on the oven. 18:33. He was late.
“So, how’s it coming along?”
Lucy glanced up at her husband as she carefully separated the eggs over a large mixing bowl. He sat a clear plastic bag of limes and two bottles of Cava on the table, disturbing a precisely placed napkin in the process. Lucy averted her eyes back to her task. Involuntarily she clenched her teeth.
“It would be coming along a lot better if you had made the effort to get here on time.” She muttered, throwing the egg shells into the bowl of yolk. Her cheeks burning, she immediately regretted her outburst. She heard Tom take a deep breath as she shook sugar over the egg whites.
“Look, I’m sorry. My meeting overran. Then there was a huge queue at Waitrose.” Tom pulled off his jacket and slung it onto the back of a chair. He looked up to see Lucy stiffly carry the bowl over to the electric mixer.
“Give me a break, Luce...”
Lucy snapped the plug into the socket and switched on the mixer. Tom watched her back as she focused her attention on the frothy mixture. He shook his head to himself and picked up the bottles. Steadily he walked over to the fridge and nestled them next to the cooling bottles of white. He paused for a moment before walking over to her, and softly rested his hands on her waist. Her frantic mixing slowed to a stop as her body suddenly convulsed with a jagged sob. Tom gently reached to switch off the mixer and guided her to face him. Lucy blindly clung to him as he stroked her hair. Gradually he felt Lucy’s body begin to still against his.
“That’s better. Now, let’s start again, shall we?”
Lucy swallowed and pulled herself away, roughly wiping her face with the heel of her hand.
“It’s a bit late for that, isn’t it? I’ve managed to ruin the dessert, and I haven’t even made a start on the potatoes. And... And just look at me.”
Tom looked down at his wife. Her large bloodshot eyes searched his face. He felt a pang of guilt. He should have known this would be too much for her. He pulled her to him again and gave her a squeeze, hiding her bewildered face against his chest.
“Darling, you look fine...”
Lucy pushed herself away from him again and turned back to the worktop.
“No I don’t. I look a wreck. And your boss and his wife are due any minute.”
Tom consulted the clock.
“Look, we have plenty of time. You finish off the pudding and make a start on the veg and I’ll get these potatoes sorted. Then you can pop upstairs and get ready. It doesn’t matter if you aren’t here to meet and greet, does it?”
Lucy shrugged and picked up the mixer.
“Well, I guess you should know. You see more of your boss than you do of me these days.”
She switched the mixer on again before he could respond. Tom silently opened a drawer and picked out a potato peeler. Lucy was right. He had been working a lot, but it was for her. Even in his head, he knew it was a cliché, and his timing was more than a little off. But he couldn’t help that.
The mixer suddenly came to a stop, the abrupt quiet startling him. He turned to see Lucy artfully scooping the glossy white mass on a lined baking tray. He smiled brightly.
“That looks great. You’ve done a great job, sweetheart.”
Lucy let out a bitter laugh.
“Well let’s just hope I don’t burn the damn thing this time.”
She slammed the tray into the oven and took a mouthful of her wine. Tom glanced at the empty bottle stood on the worktop. He averted his eyes back to the potatoes.
“You should go easy on the wine, Lucy.”
Lucy arched an eyebrow at him as she carefully put the glass down. She pulled out a pack of vegetables from the fridge and tore at the plastic.
“Why? Worried I’ll make a fool of you in front of the Big Cheese?”
Tom hesitated. “No. I just don’t think it will mix with your tablets, that’s all. And you know alcohol is a depressant.” He added quietly.
Lucy roughly snapped the stalks of the asparagus. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t need those tablets if you were actually here for me rather than hiding from our problems in that wood panelled office of yours.”
Tom turned to look at his wife. The tightness in her jaw emphasised her sharp cheekbones. It struck him how much weight she had lost since it had happened.
He felt his face flush.
“I’m... I’m sorry.”
Lucy’s hands became still for a moment. She looked up from her task, her eyes staring through the mosaic tiles in front of her.
“So am I. I’m sorry you felt the need to have a bit on the side when I was pregnant. I’m sorry I lost our baby. And I’m sorry you feel like you can’t even be around me anymore.”
Tom carefully laid down his knife and scooped up the prepped potatoes. He dropped them into a pan of water waiting on the stove.
“You have nothing to apologise for. You did nothing wrong.” He said softly.
Lucy turned to him, her mouth open.
“Then why did you do it, Tom? Why did you run off and sleep with someone else if I hadn’t done anything wrong? If I was satisfying you in the bedroom, you wouldn’t need to go elsewhere, would you?”
Tom looked down at the floor and shook his head rapidly. “It wasn’t like that. I told you.”
Lucy dropped the broccoli in her hand and laughed incredulously.
“Yes, that’s right. You did. You just needed to escape from the concept of fatherhood, from responsibility, from stability, right? Well you don’t need to worry about any of that now, what with a wife who can’t even carry a baby for more than five months and is slowly losing her mind.”
She shook her head and turned back to her task.
“Be careful what you wish for, Tom.”
Tom took a deep breath and thrust his hands in his pockets.
“You’re right, Luce. I was scared, scared of so much. But right now I’m bloody terrified.”
Lucy snorted as she pulled out a pan from the cupboard next to her and threw in the vegetables. She placed it on the hob and hastily pulled off her apron.
“So, what are you going to do now, Tom? Run away again? Stick your head in the sand? Get up to your elbows in some other woman?”
She looked at her husband with cold eyes as she flung her apron under the sink and walked out of the room. Tom listened to her footsteps on the hardwood staircase and closed his eyes. He didn’t know if she would ever forgive him and he couldn’t blame her. But he wasn’t willing to give up on their marriage. He looked at his watch. Their guests were due in six minutes. Decisively he strode into the hallway and bound up the stairs two at a time. Lucy looked over at him as he jogged into the bedroom. She was already stripped to her black lace underwear and opaque tights. Tom averted his eyes from her fragile body and cleared his throat.
“Lucy, I’m going to make things right.”
She looked at him blankly before turning back to her wardrobe. Mechanically she began to flick through the rail of dresses. “So how exactly are you going to do that Tom?” She asked, emotion absent from her voice.
He watched her as she pulled out the black dress he had bought her the day they got engaged. She stepped into the silk and carefully arranged it over her angular frame before padded over to the dressing table. As she spritzed herself with Chanel Tom caught her eye in the mirror.
“I’m going to get a promotion.”
Lucy stared at him for a moment before her mouth curved into a smile.
“A promotion? How lovely. Then we will see even less of each other.”
She turned to her make-up bag and began to powder her face. Tom watched her carefully.
“No, Lucy. A new job in another office. Where I get to call the shots. Somewhere away from here, where we can start again.”
Lucy snapped shut her compact and reached for her blusher.
“Oh really? And where would that be? Leeds? Manchester?”
She wrinkled her nose as she applied the colour. Tom shook his head at her reflection.
“No. San Francisco.”
Lucy paused, her blusher brush in her hand, and glanced over her shoulder. She met Tom’s eyes briefly before resting her gaze on the neatly made bed.
“Really?” She asked quietly.
Tom smiled tentatively. “Yes. Somewhere new. A great place for you to get back into your painting, and... and for us to start a family.”
Lucy looked back at his face, her eyes wide. Her pink cheeks made her look innocent, the trauma of the last seven months erased from her face.
“But you’d be working even harder than ever.”
“Lucy, do you think my manager works half the hours I do?”
Lucy bit her lip and turned back to the mirror. Hurriedly she fished around in her make-up bag for her eyeliner. She looked up at Tom, a cautious smile touching her lips.
“I guess not.”
Tom’s smile widened.
“You guess right. And I guess inviting him over for dinner to discuss the plans for the new office could help me seal the deal too.”
Lucy’s smile disappeared.
“Oh God, is that why he’s coming?”
She turned back at her reflection and leant forwards to paint her eyes, steadying her shaking arm with her free hand. Suddenly she gasped, dropping the pencil and jumping up from her seat.
“Shit! The meringue!”
Tom held up his hands.
“Don’t you worry about it. I’ll go and sort it out.”
Lucy watched him as he strode confidently to the door.
“Tom?”
He stopped abruptly in the doorway and turned to look at her. Her eyes searched his face.
“I...”
She faltered as her eyes met his. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
“Thank you.”
Tom rested his hand on the door frame and looked at the floor.
“No need to thank me. I just hope it’s enough to let you trust me again.”
Lucy looked at him dumbly as she searched for something to say. Tom turned to the hallway.
“Anyway, the meringue.”
Lucy watched him disappear from the doorway. She listened to him clatter down the stairs before she turned back to the dressing table. She sat down slowly and opened a drawer. Carefully she felt around for the tablets she had been saving over the last six weeks. Despite his close monitoring since her last attempt Tom hadn’t noticed her slip one of her pills into her dressing down pocket every night. She rolled the bottle in her hands. The rattle of the fatal dose against the dark glass comforted her. Taking a deep breath, she closed her fingers around the bottle and stood up. She tiptoed over to the en suite bathroom, fumbling with the safety lid. Downstairs the doorbell rang. Lucy froze. She stared at the bottle as she heard Tom open the door. A burst of enthusiastic voices drifted up the stairs. Shaking herself she screwed the lid back on and hurried back to the dresser. She shoved the bottle behind her collection of expensive night creams and serums and sat down. Picking up her eyeliner she studied her reflection. She hardly recognised the drawn face in front of her. The last year had left its mark, yet in her eyes she recognised something of her old self. She swallowed and began to draw a line of kohl around her eyes. Maybe Tom was right. Maybe it was time to start again.